Caligo
by Piriluk
Summary: Rin has always been in the shadow of her brilliant brother. She finds it difficult to feel she has any worth or reason to live, and it's not as if life could get any worse when she suddenly develops dangerous abilities, causing the government to be after her head. There's a lot more to what meets the eye, though. / summary subject to change bc idk what I'm doing ok / RinxLen
1. Prologue

**a/n oh god what am I doing even**

* * *

On the eve of my 13th birthday, Len comes into my room at eleven o'clock at night and perches on the edge of my bed, rapidly shaking me awake.

He hasn't done this since we were six.

"What?" I ask groggily, sitting up. Len grins widely at me, the faint light from my alarm clock illuminating his face.

"Watch this," he tells me, raising his hand. He clicks his fingers, and like a match striking a match box, a flame flickers. But after a few seconds of holding it, he shakes it away, apparently too giddy. He grabs my shoulders and shakes me back and forth. "I can do it. I can do the magic!"

_The magic_, I think grumpily. Mocking his actions, I click my fingers, expecting a flame to come from the tips. But nothing happens. I try once again—and one more time just to make sure. Nothing. I look at Len and he does it again—easy-peasy. My enthusiasm fizzes out quickly.

"Maybe tomorrow," he suggests, noticing my disappointment. "Try again tomorrow. Like, Mum and Dad did say it happens when you're supposed to turn 13." Len reaches out to pat me on the head. "I'm going back to bed. I'm so excited to show them tomorrow. Night, Rin."

He ups and leaves in a high mood, and I sit back staring at my hands. I click my fingers again—nothing.

I'll try again tomorrow. If Len can do it, so can I. It's bound to happen, right?

I lie back down in my bed and stare up at the ceiling.

Again.

_I'm last again._

* * *

**caligo**

* * *

I'm just an average girl.

However, for others, that's a different story: I was born into a family of witches and wizards, my parents both being capable of magic.

Human-level magic, aka "Norhsoea" (or whatever), is a skill you're apparently supposed to develop between the age of 12 and 14 (most commonly 13). Such thing happened to my brother, Len—he was blessed with elemental and god-knows-what else considering he's the Gifted Son and all—and yes, as always, such magic skills fell short on my terms.

So here I am. Normal. Average. Human. A talking potato. Completely ironic; even though my parents tell me, "Sometimes it happens,"—why did I have to be the case of the sometimes syndrome?

I would've rather been dead.

So basically, as I said before, we waited and waited and waited for me to develop any magic skills, until that 12-14 leeway age expired and I turned 15, and Len also turned 15, and Len went to magic school because he is the Gifted Son and all, and long story short I was yet again, as has always been, the girl referred to as 'just Len's sister'.

You see, Len has always been magnificent and really great and really popular and really nice… and I have always been one step behind him. I get a subject award for craft or something like that—Len gets the English, Math and Physics award because he's going to be the next Stephen Hawking or something. I get one A on my report card—Len gets straight-A's because he's a freak. I come third in 100m races on the school sport day—Len comes first in every event. I have two friends—Len is friends with the entire grade. Et cetera, et cetera, et cetera.

And even though it's so horrible living in the shadow of him; I can't hate him. He's too kind. He always looks out for me, tells me that my small successes are brilliant even when others are showering him with praise for something bigger and better.

I still remember that look he gave me before he went through customs to leave for that 'prestigious' magic school. The one mixed with pity, concern, reassurance—"You'll be alright, Rin. Don't let anyone tell you that you're not great, because you are wonderful," he said.

Will I be alright? I'm stuck at home, left with some miserable, boring, uneventful life to live. I'm not travelling halfway around the planet to then be transported to another world so I can achieve brilliant things. I'm living this awful normal life in the shadows of everyone else.

I'm no such thing as… wonderful.

And I hate it when he looks at me with pity. It makes me feel sick. There's nothing worse than people giving you that sorry look. I can't help it I was born worthless.

Life sucks. It really does.

I don't see Len for over a year—not even on our 16th birthday. Mum says because he's off in the magical realm or whatever-the-heck they call it, it's impossible for him to have any form of contact with us. So… we don't actually know whether he's still alive. I hope he is.

We celebrate my birthday with a small cake and my two closest friends, then I lie in bed and cry for a good two hours because my life still sucks. I feel like I'm stuck in this cage where I'm completely hopeless. I don't know who I am, I don't know what I want to be because I'm talented at nothing—I want to die but I'm too scared of death. I'm scared of what's to come after.

I think sleeping is the only time I'm happy. The only time when all my problems don't exist and I don't have to be me. I can just forget everything and reside in dreams of a world where things were right. A world where I woke up on my thirteenth birthday with magic coursing through my veins, a world where I left with Len to magic school on our fifteenth birthday, a world where I don't spend my sixteenth birthday crying myself to sleep.

A perfect world that only exists in my head.

- END PROLOGUE -

* * *

**what am I doing I don't know**

**I'm going to regret this haha crying**

**please review because it's kind and inspiring oke bye 8')**


	2. Chapter 1

**a.n. everyone is asking about the pairings and tbh the pairings won't really matter until later in the fic ^^; sorry. and I don't want to give out too much info because it'll spoil the plot =u='**

**thank you for all the kind reviews, though! it made me really happy seeing them. c:**

* * *

**1**

* * *

I'm drowning.

It's hard to explain, though. I know how to swim—I'm swimming—but I'm drowning, like something is pressing me down, not letting me get back up for air.

My lungs are burning; my arms are weak against the current as I'm immersed in black waters—cold and thick like soup. Dots appear as darkness seeps across my peripheral vision as the oxygen I so desperately need is running out. I'm thinking, _this is it, _but then I hear a voice shout over the water rushing in my ears.

"Rin!"

I scream back, my mouth filling up with bitter liquid, gagging me.

"Rin!" A hand reaches down from the surface, like God himself had reached from the sky, and grabs me by my collar, pulling me towards the surface. I hit the harsh air and I fumble to grab their hands, relief rushing over my body.

My eyes reach theirs—meeting an azure gaze—warm, gentle. "Len," I breathe.

He smiles, holding my eyes, but then a strange look washes over his face. He looks down at my hands, his eyebrows meeting in the middle of his forehead. I follow his gaze to see black incantations snaking over my arms and towards Len's hands.

I stop breathing, my mind cracking open as he lets out a cry of pain. "No, no, no, _stop_, no," I'm saying. "No, no! _Please_, no!" I don't know what I'm telling to stop, but I start to feel numb all over, a heaviness setting in my heart.

Len manages to pull me onto the grass beside the rushing waters, trying to release his hands from my grasp, but his face is shrouded in agony as his attempts fail. I want to let go of his hands, but I can't—they're glued there. He whimpers, seemingly paralysed, closing his eyes.

"I trusted you," he whispers, a voice full of hatred. It hits me hard. "Why? _Why?!_"

What did he trust me for? I try to speak, to ask what he means, but my voice is choked up by horror as his skin starts to turn grey and crack—like stone. Tears roll down his face as he casts me a glare of betrayal. I don't understand—what is happening? _What is happening?_

I scream his name, I scream for help, for anything. I scream so loud, I scream, I scream, I scream—

My head snaps back against the wooden floor of my bedroom. Gasping, I sit up, becoming familiar with my surroundings—I must have fell out of bed. I wipe away the cold sweat running down my forehead and stand.

That dream… was horrifying. It's the first nightmare I've had in a while, and it felt so _real_. I glance at the clock to my right—3AM. I still have three hours until I have to get ready for school. Rubbing my sweaty palms on my pants, I sigh and walk towards my bedroom door.

I pause, though, when I reach my mirror, and look up.

A girl looks back at me in the reflection—blonde bed-hair, wide blue eyes and pale skin—me. But that isn't what makes my stomach drop. I step forward, my eyes focusing on the exposed skin. I see faint lines. Patterns, like vines, with a scar-like appearance, twist across my hands, feet and neck. They flash a burnt orange, before disappearing completely.

Realisation sets over me. I look down at my hands—my bare skin, which moments ago was covered in…

No. _No_.

Of all things… it can't be. It can't.

This is just a bad dream, Rin, I tell myself. Just go back to sleep. You're fine. It's fine. It was just a bad dream.

I rub my eyes, nausea rolling over me. A bad dream. I shuffle out of my bedroom and into the hallway.

It's fine. You're okay. Len's okay.

There's nothing wrong.

* * *

When I wake up that morning I temporarily forget what happened last night. My body feels heavy and I feel exhausted, like I hadn't slept at all. However, when I walk past my mirror on the way out I look at myself again and the memories of that dream flood back into my mind.

I cringe, closing my eyes and opening them again, expecting to see the vines across my skin, but I'm met with relief as nothing happens. I look normal… I should be fine, right? But in the back of my mind, there's a niggling sensation telling me that nothing is okay—and it's something I can't easily let out of my head.

At breakfast, Mum asks why I'm yawning so much.

"Bad dream**—**bad sleep," I answer briefly, hoping she won't ask into it.

But she does. "Oh? What about?" she inquires innocently over the newspaper. "To be honest, I remember hearing a bang last night—but I didn't think it would be you."

I poke at my breakfast, my appetite lacking. "Um… I can't remember exactly. It was just really scary—and Len was in it." I pause, squeezing my eyes closed as the images of Len flash through my mind. "I woke up on the floor."

Mum hums in thought. "It's not like you to roll out of bed," she says. "Did you hurt yourself?" She finally looks up from the newspaper to scan me with her eyes. A hazel green—Len and I both have Dad's, which are blue.

I touch the back of my head unconsciously. It's a bit tender. "Yeah, a little," I reply nervously. Mum seems to examine me for a bit longer, before looking back down again. I stare down at my toast and salad, biting my lip. "I'm not really hungry, so I think I might just take a snack and eat it on the way to school." I stand and move my plate over to the kitchen bench, covering it with glad wrap.

Mum presses her lips together, seemingly concerned. "Are you sure you're alright?" She looks up to check over my body, and it's like her eyes are peeling away the layers of my skin.

"Fine," I say hastily, before heading back to my bedroom to get changed. I feel her gaze follow me out of the room.

I wipe the sleep out of my eyes and sigh. There's a heavy feeling in my chest that won't go away and it makes it hard to breathe. I hate lying to my mother, but I hate making her worry about me even more. I don't want to tell her about what I saw last night. I'm scared of how she might react.

I put on my uniform and stare at myself in the mirror, expecting the patterns to be there again. But my skin is just plain and pale—the only marks are from blemishes and the heavy bags under my eyes. I look half-way to death. Nice job, Rin.

Raking a hand through my hair, I step out the front door into the bitter winter air, and gaze out over the courtyard of the apartment block. I'm not one of those people who complain about the cold, much. I like the cold—it's the only time my skin doesn't look like the topping of a pizza.

Mum handed me an apple to eat on the way to school before I left. The thought of sinking my teeth into the sweet fruit makes me feel queasy, however, so I put it in my lunchbox for later and rub my face anxiously.

The snow that fell two days ago is now a sloshy substance at my feet; a dirty dishwater colour tinting it. When it first fell it was really pretty, and for a while I sat at my window watching it fall sleepily over the city. The light from the sun reflected in the flakes and made it look like glitter falling from the stars. It reminded me of the winters Len and I played in the snow. They were a very long time ago, though.

The train station where the train I take to go to school is two minutes' walk from home. I have to walk through the main street, which is decorated with seasonal ornaments and convenience stores, and the train station is right at the end at an intersection.

To get to school, I take three trains: to get to the second train I get off at the third stop, and on the second train I have to wait five stops. The third, however, is only one stop away—I could walk to school from the third stop instead of taking another train, but it takes an extra five to ten minutes, and the intersections around there are busy.

Len and I used to walk to school together, but since he left to have his magic fun in fairyland, I've had to grow used to walking by myself. It isn't nice: it gives me too much time to myself, enough where I almost drown in my thoughts.

After the last train, it's a five minute walk to school. Sometimes I meet my friends at the train station, sometimes not—today is one of those days I don't see them until I reach the school.

My school is a public school; it's (thankfully) much better than most public schools, and it's really, really big. For example, I have Mathematics on the third floor, and then I have to climb to the fifth floor for Japanese History. And get this: we only have stairs. The elevator is strictly disabled people only.

I'm not a fan of school. As I said before—I'm not really academic; Len is. And neither am I really creative or sporty, so I don't stand out in any way. I just get really average scores. And being not smart or sporty doesn't really make me very popular, either—I kind of just cease to exist, really. Anyone who does acknowledge my existence simply refers to me as 'Len's sister' or something like that—it's not like I have a name or anything, you know.

Today, my first period is Biology. I hate it—when we dissect things I always have to sit outside before I pass out. And then when I go back into the classroom afterwards, it smells like guts and dead animal; which is even worse. Second period I have PE—today is dodge ball, so I get hit in the face like, three times. Third period, I have Home Economics—the teacher hates me for whatever reason—I think it's because I always manage to cut or burn myself when we cook and end up having to go to sick bay.

The rest of the day is just as boring, because school in general is about as drab as a brick wall, and one of my friends are away sick so it's just one of my friends and I. The friend here today is called Mayu—we're not _that_ close, and if anything, when our other friend Yuzuki isn't around, it's just really awkward between us.

I don't have club today so I'm let off early—fortunately, or unfortunately.

The heavy feeling from my chest before is still there, and I really wish it'd just go away. I decide to walk to the park near the train station before going home, and sit on the swings to watch other kids from school walk by and disperse in hopes it might lessen if I just relax for a bit. It doesn't, though—if anything, it gets worse.

Eventually, no one is really walking past anymore and the sky is turning pink as the sun starts to disappear behind the mountains in the distance. I check my watch and see it's only four o'clock. Sometimes I forget the days are shorter during winter.

Reluctantly I stand and stretch out my legs, which feel numb from the cold. The winter uniform is stupid: they force us to wear short skirts but don't let us wear thick tights—it's only 'sheer tights allowed' (as if that'd make much difference)—so usually by the time I get home there are icicles forming on my leg hairs. The boy's uniforms are much more forgiving.

I shiver and think back to last night.

As much as I wish I could deny it, the lines on my skin were magic incantations—and they pretty much only occur in… dark magic.

Dark magic, if you didn't already guess from the stupidly cliché name, refers to a variety of forbidden magic that uses the negative energy of the universe's magic source, Aether. Either you're born with dark magic or you learn to use it.

The people or creatures that aren't born into dark magic, but decide to practice it, inevitably become controlled by the dark magic and develop into something we like to call Cadavers. They're like a demon—apparently rumoured to be possessed by an evil soul—and being no longer capable of human-like emotions, lose control over what humanity it had left. Their only motive is _kill, kill, kill_, and are pretty lethal if you run into one. However, Cadavers give off a specific type of radiation which the magic government can detect—and usually once a Cadavers radiation is detected, that's the end of the line. They're then 'exorcised' by professional demon hunters—like they do in horror movies and stuff.

People who are born to dark magic don't end up with _as bad_ an end as Cadavers do—unless you call being inevitably hunted down by the magic government and euthanized a better end. Other normal magic users fear dark magic because it's dangerous—it's sometimes deemed as the _magic of death_—and many of those who successfully developed their dark magic skills in the past became a mass murderer or started wars; consequently a victim of pride and power. So, it's only reasonable that anyone who shows use of dark magic is eradicated, since the rest of the world is terrified of them and all that.

A common giveaway to dark magic is incantations, as I said before. Elven magic uses incantations, but it's only located on the forehead, neck and shoulders—and me, being a somewhat regular human being, can't perform Elven magic, because I'm not Elven. Dark magic covers majority of the body, and when at full power, turns black and 'glows'—_if_ that makes sense. Fresh incantations give off a small amount of similar radiation Cadavers do—which is why the magic government usually finds you before you get too strong.

Additionally, the more you use dark magic, the more the incantations stay and imprint onto your skin, like a stain. It starts with your hands first, the hotspot for where the magic is channelled, and then eventually takes over the entire body. So, by the end, you're like a blinking road sign to the government, yelling, "Hey, over here!"

And so… that's why I didn't want to think about it. It would be hard to believe I'd developed dark magic as my skill overnight, especially since I'm the child of two regular magic users, but it would explain a lot of other things, like my late development or lack thereof—the victim of the 'sometimes' factor.

It hurt my head to think about. Just… Why… _me?_ Why would I have dark magic? I'm so lame and _not_ evil. Was I cursed? I didn't need any more wrong with me as it is—it's already hard enough with what's going on in my life now. How would I tell my parents? _Should_ I tell my parents? Would it just be better to keep quiet and never use it? But I'm not sure… entirely whether it _is_ dark magic. I could've been dreaming, I _hope_ I was only dreaming about it… _but_.

If I want to be sure that I really _have_ somewhat developed dark magic; I would have to use it. And I know that once I try it—there's a chance I won't be able to… be normal. I honestly don't know what I'd do if I have it—I don't know what the rational answer is. Turn myself in? Run away and hide until I die? I don't want to disappoint my parents again, like I've already done so for the last 16 years.

I sigh and crouch down on the grass reluctantly. There's a patch which is sort-of-not-dead, so I focus on that. When I was a kid I read a lot of books about magic—one being dark magic, and it told me a very basic spell—that I thought I'd never use. It's a life-sucking spell; one that dark magic users first developed in ancient times in order to recover quickly in battle.

It's a bit like a HP-Up in a video game, except you have to kill something to get the full effect. There are spells similar to that which are non-dark, where you don't have to kill in order to recover—but it's less… effective, I guess.

I rub my hands over my knees nervously, before kneeling onto the cold ground. I glance around warily to check for people, but the park is empty. Swiftly I hold out my hand above the grass and focus on it.

Before he went off to magic school, Len told me how he did spells one time in the backyard, hoping it could maybe trigger something, but such attempts failed.

"—_feel like you're drawing energy to your palm and imagine it as a ball. Keep it your hand, and silence all other thoughts in your mind. Think of the spell you want to do—think of the results that it will give you, and say it aloud. Then release the energy."_

"_Ducendi_," I whisper.

Almost instantly, heat rushes up my arm. Alarmed, I open my eyes to see the grass patch I've directed my hand at turning brown and parched—and my hand is covered in the tell-tale incantations. I move my hand away quickly and stop the flow, and the incantations fade. There is a very faint pattern, though, in the palm of my hand now, that will most likely stay permanently. Great.

I swallow, fighting the urge to throw up as my worst fears are confirmed. God, God, _God_. Why me? I clench my hand and bring it down onto the ground, like I'm blaming the grass for dying and not myself. I'm at a loss on what to do. Shakily, I stand up and push my hands through my hair.

Was this my punishment for not being happy with what I already had? Was this my punishment for being spoilt and rude and ungrateful? If that's so… the world is awfully cruel.

Sniffing, I wipe my face with the back of my hand and stumble across the park in direction for the train station. I don't know what to do. I don't know. I don't want to go home—I don't want to walk in that door knowing… this. I was hoping that it was all fake, a hallucination, but it wasn't.

I choke back a sob. I'm scared.

And I don't know why it's happening to me. How? How am I using this? The only way I could be using dark magic is if I was actually born with it—it would be different if I could already use Norhsoean magic, but… My parents never said anything about it, if it was a part of the family or in our genes. I'm sure they would tell me if it was a possibility, but they didn't. What am I going to do? What am I going to _do?_ What's wrong with me? Why did this have to happen to _me? _I'm scared, I'm scared, I'm scared.

I bury my face into my scarf in an attempt to hide my tears from the people surrounding as I walk into the train station, hoping no one notices and tries talking to me.

At the same time, the pieces start to fall into place. The dream was a sign. Once you become of age for dark magic, you either get a vision or a dream or it 'reveals' itself some way or another. 16-18 are the "ages"—and I just turned 16 three weeks ago. That explains why I never developed Norhsoean magic. It makes sense in _some_ ways—others it doesn't, and it makes my head hurt.

I don't get onto the train that takes me home—I get one that takes me further into the city. I need more time to think. Maybe I could just somehow hand myself over… and save seeing the disappointment on my parents' faces.

Just… if I don't show at home tonight… what will my parents do? Will they file a missing person's report? Wait for me? I push that thought down, guilt rising in my chest as an image of Mum sitting at home on the couch waiting for me to walk through the door flashes through my mind. And God—what would Len think, of all people? His crazy opinion that I'm wonderful would certainly change.

I look at the palm of my hand again. The incantation spirals from the middle of my palm, before fading just as it reaches the beginning of my wrist. It's surrounded by short, straight lines, so it reminds me a little of a cartoon sun that kids would draw in the corners of the paper. Nevertheless, the more I use magic, the more noticeable it will become and the more it'll spread up my arm. It looks innocent… but it casts fear in the hearts of others.

Uneasy, I shove my hand into my blazer pocket and sigh to myself. I switch trains onto the Toei Asakusa line, and get off at Asakusa, deciding I'd gone far enough. It's dark, now, and the city is illuminated with lights that twinkle above my head. I feel like the tall buildings could almost swallow me up. A breeze blows from the river and I shiver, wrapping my arms tighter around myself.

My phone vibrates a few times in my pocket—I don't check who it is, but it could be Mum asking where I am. I look at my watch on my wrist, reading it's five to five. If I went straight home from school, I would've been home forty minutes ago.

I start to cry again.

Of course, the dark hides that. I look down at my feet as I shuffle along the sidewalk towards the bridge that crosses over Sumida River. Before Len went away, he and I came to Asakusa and ate at one of the ice-cream stalls at the Buddhist temple. I miss then. I miss any time before now. The days when things were… normal. Somewhat.

I reach the centre of the bridge and stop to look out over the river. The skyscrapers' reflections on the water ripple as a small tour boat rolls past, and on my left I could see what people called _The Golden Turd _on top of the Asahi Beer Building. It glows against the twinkling streets of Tokyo, like a sign of hope.

Hope which I don't have.

Thoughts start to reel through my head. I wonder if I could just end it here. Just throw myself over the edge and be done with it—no one's watching, no one would notice. Everyone else is too busy being occupied with their own lives. I step onto the lower part of the railing and lean over further, feeling the cold air bite at my cheeks.

I could fall into the dark waters and drown, just like my dream.

Closing my eyes, I grip harder onto the railing, bracing to swing my leg over to the other side. I don't know what possesses me to do this—but at this moment, it feels right. It feels _good_. Like, yeah, I should probably die. It would solve a lot of my problems.

However, someone grabs my elbow before I can even get over the railing. "Miss?"

Startled, I back down, thinking it's a police officer. But when I turn to look at them, it isn't—it's a boy, probably a year or two older than me—tall and lean with dark blue hair. His cheeks are slightly pink from the cold and he's dressed in all black; not a school uniform.

"Yes?" I answer nervously, as other possibilities start to run through my mind. What happens if he's part of the magic government, and he detected my incantations and followed me here? What happens if he's a rapist and he's about to kidnap me to take back to his apartment?

His eyebrows furrow slightly like he's trying hard to think. "You weren't contemplating over jumping off there, were you?" he asks.

"N-no," I say quickly. If I admitted to that, he could take me to the police and God knows what would happen then.

The boy frowns. "You were," he insists. "If I didn't stop you just then, you would fall to your death."

He's… kind of creeping me out. How would he be so sure about me 'falling to my death'? I _could_ survive… barely.

"I was just… you know. Being stupid," I lie, taking a step back anxiously, ready to run. There's something _off_ about him but I can't pinpoint what exactly, and it's giving me a headache just trying to figure it out.

"You're lying," he says. I notice his eyes, previously a dark blue, flash a brilliant cyan. Immediately it hits me, then, as I realise. I swallow, looking down—in one of the books I read, one of the sections that broke down the different types of Norhsoean magic… that means he—"…Can read minds? Yes." I pause. He just finished my sentence.

I look back up at him, alarmed, and he smiles thinly, his eyes reverting back to their regular colour. "So you can't lie, because I know what you were thinking just then."

I lick my lips. If he can read my mind, I can't… do anything. At all. Because he would know what I wanted to do next. "What are you going to do about it, then?" I ask carefully, "You know, if I throw myself over the edge? You can't _stop_ me."

The boy raises his eyebrow in amusement. "Well, yes, it's _your_ choice but I'd prefer you'd not," he answers slyly. "Sixteen is such a young age… you've only lived such a small part of your life."

He knows my age, too? Not just a mind reader, but he has multiple psychic abilities. Rare. Then he would know… probably about _that_…

"What's there to live if you're doomed to die anyway? All I ever do is disappoint everybody," I state glumly, chewing the inside of my cheek. "If you can read my mind then you'll get why I'm trying to off myself. In fact, I'm not even sure why you're stopping me from doing it."

"I'm not afraid," he begins, holding up a finger, "of suicidal teenage girls with low self-esteem and a bit of death magic up their sleeves. I could relate quite closely to that, really, minus the teenage girl part." He grins to himself, before taking a step forward and reaching out to my forehead.

I try to move away. "What are you—"

As soon as his fingers make contact with my temple, Asakusa melts away to be replaced with a small room. A tiny, blue-haired boy sits in the corner, huddled, sobbing into his knees. A figure stalks past where I'm standing towards him with their hand raised.

"_Demon! Demon child!_" the figure—now revealed as a middle-aged man—yells, hitting the infant. The little boy cries out in pain, doubling over as the man lands slaps and punches onto his body. Watching it makes me feel sick—what on Earth is this weird guy trying to show me?

A woman comes running in on the sounds of screaming and crying—she has a beautiful face, and blue-hair similar to the boy's, too. She pulls the man away from the child, yelling, "Stop! Stop!" and the man turns to her abruptly, slapping her across the face. His eyes are almost red with rage. Like she reads his mind, the lady falls silent, her expression changing to one of fear, and she turns to the boy, crippled on the floor, sobbing. "Run! Kaito, run, _run and never come back!_"

The man pulls out a knife from his pocket as the little boy obediently crawls across the floor to the door. He raises the knife on the woman, unbeknownst to the boy escaping, and—

The room melts away before I can see anymore, now being replaced with a school corridor. Surrounding me are middle school students, bustling around and laughing with their friends. I notice the same boy ahead walking down the hallway alone, huddled in on himself, now obviously a middle schooler.

A student runs out from the side and shoves him onto the ground, and several others turn their heads and laugh at the boy. "Freak!" he yells, kicking the boy in the stomach. "You're a _freak!_ I know what you do, you monster—you manipulate people with your creepy powers. That's why your parents didn't want you!"

The corridor erupts into mean laughter, so strong I can feel it rattle through my bones. The boy stays on the ground, unmoving, a lost look on his face. Realisation dawns on me—this is the guy I'm talking to right now. This was his childhood?

I blink and I'm back in Asakusa once again, standing next to the boy. He looks at me expectantly as he draws back his hand, and raises an eyebrow. "So?"

"So… you're Kaito?" I question.

He nods. "Correct. And you're Rin, am I right?"

"Right." I feel uncomfortable knowing he could read my mind—and god knows what else.

Kaito smiles at me and winks. "Don't worry. I only read people's minds when I have to. I don't do it for the sake of enjoyment and embarrassment of the person."

I laugh nervously. "_Right_." I pause to think. "So you're one of the infamous psychics that people seem to dread running into? It's the first time I've met one in real life," I state.

He scratches the back of his head. "Oh, _totally_. As you could see, I was _so popular_ in school due to my unwanted talents, and that's why I dropped out and joined a yakuza for a year before almost getting killed."

I feel my eyes widen in surprise. "A yakuza? You don't seem like the type to be interested in that." Kaito shrugs, as if saying, _it surprised me too_.

My phone vibrates again, three times, shaking me back to reality, and I look around, suddenly remembering we're still in Asakusa. Above all that… Mum could be still waiting for me to go home. Trying to distract myself from those thoughts, I force myself to continue the conversation—"So I'm guessing mind reading isn't your only skill?" I ask.

Kaito sighs. "You guessed right. Apart from mind reading, I can make people see my memories—like I did to you before—and see the memories of another person. That's how I know your name." Oh. So he probably knows all my deep, dark secrets. That's not very comforting. "Additionally, I can see the future, but I don't really trust what it tells me long-term because… the circumstance could change."

"Is that why you said that I would die when I jumped over? Because at that current moment if I jumped then all circumstances would lead to my inevitable death?" I query.

"Yep," Kaito says, grinning. "But now, you don't die in the next five minutes—which is an improvement."

Just a little, I want to ask what else my future had for me at this moment, but at the same time I'm afraid of what would happen, so I decide against it. I laugh and turn away to look back over the river.

It would probably be about six right now… but I still don't want to go home. I _never_ want to go home, yet I still long to go home, normal, like nothing happened. That wouldn't happen, though. I'm so… scared.

Kaito steps up beside me and leans his back against the railing. "Say," he begins, and I look at him, "there are other people like you and me." He pauses to look at me and I cock an eyebrow, as if to say, _go on_. He looks away. "There's a handful of us that all hang together, we're kind of like a family—because most of us don't have family, or life, to go home to."

I remember the man and the woman from Kaito's memories—could they have been his parents?

"If you're still hesitant about going home, you could stay with us for a while. It's a nice crowd and we're all about the same age—uh, well, some of us," he offers, scratching his chin nervously. "We all kind of found each other with the same dreams about death and the regrets about the gifts we've been born with. That sort of stuff. I dunno—it's up to you. It's just… we've decided to come together against the shit people throw at us for having certain abilities. And I'm pretty sure the others would love to meet you."

Looking down at my hands, I bite my lip, thinking carefully. "Could I stay just for a night?" I ask quietly. "Until I can think clearly a little bit. I just… I'm scared of them. I'm scared because I don't want to be the failure I've already become—I don't want to see the fear or disappointment on their faces when I come home and show them my hand—I don't want him to…" _Len_. Even though he doesn't live here, in this same world, I'm sure news would travel if I returned home as a dark magic user—and he's the last person I want to know about this.

I don't want to disappoint Len; the only person who seems to have put faith in such a pathetic being like me.

Kaito smiles. "I understand. It's totally cool," he says, clamping a hand on my shoulder. "You can stay as long and whenever you like, you know."

I still don't know whether this is the right choice or not. How could I trust someone I just met? But… it's not like I've got anything to lose. "Thank you," I murmur.

"No worries," he replies, standing upright and putting his hands into his jacket's pockets. "I was just out getting some dinner for everyone, so we'll do that then head back. I hope you don't mind."

I shake my head and move to his side. "It's fine."

We walk a few metres in silence, as I continue to dwell over whether this was a correct move, before Kaito nudges me with his elbow. "It's okay. I don't like younger girls," he tells me in a low voice, before giving a side glance and winking.

I feel my face heat up—_obviously_ he must've heard my anxious thoughts on whether he could be leading me to his rape dungeon or not. I sigh and look away, but not with one last request:

_…stop reading my mind, please._

* * *

**yakuza **are Japanese gangs if you were too lazy to google.

**Asakusa **is a really cool place and when I went there I had grape-flavoured soft ice-cream and it was _amazing_. Japanese food is just amazing full stop.

* * *

**this is soooo boring and terribly paced /cries/**

**if you actually made it this far... you're wonderful and ily. sobs**

**if you're ever wondering what all these random non-English words are just ask me. (honestly they're just latin words I got off google translate or words I made up haha/sweats nervously)**

* * *

**ples review! also because having reviews to look at when I'm feeling crummy and uninspired makes it so much easier to get my creative juices running.**

**VVVVV**


	3. Chapter 2

**a.n. here's chapter two! thank you so much for all the reviews, favs and follows, I was surprised I managed to get so many ;v;**

**just a question... do you guys like the chapters long (4,000-6,000), or would you prefer them shorter? this one's slightly shorter than the previous chapter because I felt it wrapped up nicely the way it was, but do you think they're a bit too long the way they are? should I focus on making them moreso 2,000-3,000 words? or are longer chapters better? let me know! :,)**

* * *

**2**

The apparent group of people Kaito calls his family all reside in a small suburban house in Kamata, on the opposite side of Tokyo to where I live. It's two storeys, and by what Kaito describes, there seems to be about four people total, Kaito included, who live there or at least are present frequently.

We buy a crap-load of cheap things from one of the convenience stores near Asakusa: a couple of onigiri, a six-packet of daifuku and several cups of ramen noodles. While I am watching Kaito place these onto the bench for the shop assistant to scan, he turns to me and says, "We have to keep the budget low, otherwise Meiko will potentially rip out my neck."

"Who's Meiko?" I ask.

"She's the money maker," he explains, before leaning in to add quietly, "she's a prostitute, and she's usually a nice person when she isn't drunk."

I nod slowly, amused. "Oh."

Kaito sighs. "If we spend too much she'll get pissy because she can't buy her sake," he continues, placing the money onto the counter. "And then she'll try to kill me. Hence, _try_." He taps his head and wiggles his eyebrows, and I guess that he uses his psychic abilities to avoid being masticated.

By the time we reach Kamata, it's almost eight o'clock. I wonder if my parents had called the police in desperation yet. My throat feels tight whenever I think of the stress my parents would be going through—so I just—I try to block it out. Nothing works though. Nothing can stop me from feeling so guilt-ridden.

Kaito must notice my silence, because he nudges me and smiles gently. "It's okay," he tells me.

"What happens if they find me?" I question.

As if to be of reassurance, Kaito's eyes flash cyan and he stares ahead for a moment, before he says, "They won't."

I bite my bottom lip in thought. The heavy feeling in my chest—it's weighing me down. This morning it felt like maybe an apricot seed—but now it feels like a bowling ball.

Kaito slows down as we turn into a smaller street, dimly lit and completely still. "Here," he indicates, stopping in front of a plain, white house. One light is on upstairs, and the curtain to the upstairs window moves slightly as if someone had been looking out just before.

We stride up to the door and Kaito lifts his hand to press the doorbell, but a green-haired girl beats him to it—swinging open the door and shooting towards Kaito at an inhuman speed. "Oh," he says, his reaction delayed. "I didn't see _that_ coming."

The green-haired girl takes the bag from his hand and digs through it, almost like a pig digging out its food from the soil. "No carrots?" she complains, her face scrunching up in displeasure, before taking a cup of ramen noodles from the bag and handing it back to Kaito.

"Not enough money," Kaito reasons tiredly.

The girl sighs, apparently frustrated, and notices my presence, finally. "Who's this?" she asks. She eyes me suspiciously. I raise an eyebrow in response.

"Oh, her?" Kaito responds casually, digging out a cup of ramen noodles for himself. "Gumi, this is Rin. She's going to be staying for the night." He turns to me. "Rin, this is Gumi. She got kicked out of home when she was 13 because her parents were both normal and she could grow weeds out of her nose, so now she lives with us."

Gumi glares at Kaito, before turning to me and holding her hand out. She smiles for the first time in the last three minutes. "Hi Rin," she says, as I awkwardly take her hand to shake it. "You don't have to worry much about me—I'm pretty harmless when it comes to magic."

Kaito pulls a face, before announcing, "Rin has recently discovered she's capable of dark magic, much to her demise, so she's harmless for now, at least." He winks at me and I frown.

"Ooh," Gumi says with mock-fear, "sounds dangerous." I don't think Gumi really knows much about dark magic—I just get the feeling she's kind of naïve when it comes to the topic.

Kaito opens his mouth to say something else, but is cut off by a shrill woman's voice coming from inside the house. "Hurry up out there will you? The cold air is coming in and these shitty heaters do nothing!"

Both of them cast each other nervous looks, before Gumi disappears back inside. Kaito looks back at me and rolls his eyes. "Meiko," he murmurs, as if warning me. I swallow and force a sheepish laugh.

I follow after him as he strides in through the front door. Inside it's slightly warmer—thank God. Kaito closes the door behind me and we slip off our shoes and hang our coats on a coat rack next to the door. He offers me the plastic bag before we get any further. "It's best you get in quick so you can eat what you want," he states.

I decide on onigiri. "Are you sure? That's not really… meal-worthy," he comments, frowning.

"I'm not that hungry," I tell him.

Kaito gives me a worried glance, before turning away to go upstairs. "If you insist," he says over his shoulder. I look down at the onigiri in my hand. I still have that apple from this morning, too, but I'm not sure whether it'd be appropriate to pull it out whenever and start munching on it.

I continue upstairs after Kaito. It's a narrow staircase that I feel it'd be more convenient climbing up on my hands and knees rather than walking up. Upstairs, there's a kitchen, lounge room and bathroom all squished in together. Gumi and Kaito stand in the kitchen talking amongst themselves, and a woman with short brown hair who looks to be about mid-20s is sprawled across the couch. She must be Meiko.

On cue, a man walks out of the bathroom to my left—he has lengthy purple hair tied back in a top-knot-like do on his head, and looks to be maybe late 20s/early 30s. He walks straight past me, oblivious to my existence. I stand back nervously, unsure of what to do.

"Can you tell the little girl to stop standing in the doorway and to make herself useful?" Meiko grumbles from the lounge. I take that as a hint for me to move, and step away from the door to sidle towards the kitchen, where Kaito and I exchange vexed looks. "Did you leave any money, Kaito?"

Kaito clears his throat. "Yes, I did," he answers.

Meiko sighs. "Good."

He turns to me to whisper in my ear. "She's drunk. Try to stay out of the way." I nod, giving him a confused look, but he just grins uneasily.

"I heard that," Meiko then remarks—her head is turned away. Kaito gulps. She lifts a hand and beckons me forward with a slim hand and bright red, pointed fingernails. "Come here, demon. I only eat little children, so there's nothing to worry about."

My senses tell me that she isn't exactly… human. I shuffle cautiously over to the lounge room and stand about two metres away from her—enough to give me a head start, if anything were to go wrong. When I see her eyes—blood red with cat-like irises—and pale, almost grey, skin, my suspicions are confirmed: she's a vampire.

I'm not really a fan of them, being accustomed to the horror stories Dad used to tell Len and I when we were kids.

She licks her lips, swirling her glass of what looked like to be rice wine. "Hmm, yes," she says, apparently satisfied with what she sees. "You'll be pretty when you're older. Right now you look like to stuck your face in a vat of boiling teenage hormones."

"…Thanks?" I answer, unsure of how to take that compliment—or insult. I edge backwards slightly, cautious.

Meiko smiles, showing a row of pearly, white teeth. Seemingly harmless. "It's alright, dear. I'm a low-rank vampire—the only bites I give are love bites." She laughs at her joke. "What's your name?"

"Rin."

"Your _full_ name," she corrects.

I frown. "Um… Rin Kagamine."

She looks away to wistfully glance up at the ceiling. "Ah… Kagamine. Now _that's_ a familiar name. Back in the day I fought alongside a young boy in the Great Vermillion War with the surname Kagamine. He was certainly the dreamy type. Good with a sword, too." She winks at me.

…Right. She's probably old enough to have had sex with my great, great, great, great grandfather. Kaito starts laughing from the kitchen on signal, and I'm guessing he read my mind. Again. Meiko casts a glare in his direction.

"So what brings a poor dear like you here today?" she inquires, sitting upright. She takes a sip of the sake and a look of pleasure fills her face. I never knew vampires could drink alcohol, but… you learn new things every day. "Necessarily, what unfortunate event happened to you?"

I grind my teeth together, hesitant, before holding out my palm. The imprint is still there, as much as I wish it wasn't. "Oh?" Meiko says, leaning forward to examine it. Then she grins widely, almost maniacally, and starts chuckling. "Well, well—you're going to cause a bit of trouble, I see."

"I don't know much," I explain, as if it'd make me sound any less dangerous. "And I don't understand why it's happening to me of all people, considering both my parents are normal Norhsoean users, and my twin brother also developed Norhsoean magic."

Meiko clicks her tongue thoughtfully. "Well, I'd offer to read your blood but you're so small you'd probably die on my attempt. So I won't, for now." Well… that's the best news I've heard in like, 16 years. She sweeps her eyes across the room to Kaito and Gumi, who have their backs to us. "Stop sniggering, you imbeciles."

The duo straighten up.

"Seeing as you've already got the beginning of your incantation, it's best you're cautious," she tells me. "As you probably already know, the Kalhan and their technology has advanced enough to detect the presence of dark magic from great distances—I wouldn't be surprised if they turned up in less than 48 hours."

The Kalhan is the proper name for the government that no one really bothers to use—it was derived from the names of the first six kings of the magic world back in 10,000 BCE or whatever. Heaven's know what those names are—the magic government was developed several millenniums ago, and I was just a twinkle in my ancestor's, _ancestor's_ eye, then. (And I'm pretty sure _no one_ knows.)

Kaito clears his throat from the kitchen to catch our attention. "I don't predict anything so far—so they're not on your trail yet," he tells me—or well, us.

Meiko sighs, rolling her eyes. "I don't trust your brain, Kaito," she responds tiredly, before turning back to face me. "Anyway, when that time comes, we'll try to throw a spanner in the works and buy you a bit more freedom, hey?" I smile nervously. "I have a feeling you could be useful."

Useful… for what?

I look at Kaito questioningly to see if he knows anything about it, but he has his back turned again. I bite my lip. "Okay… thanks."

She smiles, before turning back to scull the rest of her sake.

* * *

I find out later that the purple-haired man is called Gakupo, and he's a shape shifter and illusionist. He appears to be awfully quiet and awkward and reads a lot, so I don't really get the opportunity to speak to him. But as Kaito says, "It's mainly Meiko you need to be worried about."

Meiko isn't… _as_ bad as I thought. When I ask Gumi about her, what she meant by 'low-grade' or whatever, Gumi explains that Meiko _apparently_ is hemophobic and refuses to drink blood. That's right—a vampire with a fear of blood. However, she says that I should still tread carefully, because she _has_ killed a couple of people.

"She doesn't drink blood from what we _see_—she can eat normal food, you know, being low-rank her body can miraculously still digest potato chips and stuff, even though I'd never really heard of that before—but there's no guaranteeing she could be preparing us for some 500-year-anniversary vampire feast or whatever," she mentions while filing her nails. "I'd like to _trust_ that isn't Meiko's idea though."

I nod. "Yeah."

Gumi stops to inspect her nails, before turning back to me. "So… what about you?" she asks. "What's your _story?_ Seeing as Kaito's so apparently confidential on the memories he sees without even asking." She rolls her eyes.

I laugh, stretching my legs out across the ground in front of me. Gumi leant me some pyjamas—they're a tad bit too big on the chest area, though. "I dunno… I only turned 16 a few weeks ago. I thought I was, you know, unlucky and a normal human being until well… today, I guess. I'm even unluckier," I state.

"You have a brother, right?" she inquires, opening a bottle of bright orange nail polish. "Kaito mentioned something about you having a brother."

"Oh… yeah. Len. He's my twin," I say. "We're _so_ different, though. Like, we're both on two different wavelengths, I guess. He's perfect, attractive, talented, popular—whatever. When he turned 13 he developed his magic, and now he's attending some high-status magic school over in the other world."

Gumi takes my left hand and starts painting my nails casually. "Gee, I wish I could go to a magic school," she mumbles. "They're too expensive though. I wish I had caring, supportive parents—or at least ones that knew what the hell magic was." She frowns.

"Tell me more?" I feel like Kaito's explanation was too brief and biased so… I want to know the real story.

She looks at me and sighs exasperatedly. "As soon as I turned thirteen my powers pretty much started to show," she begins. "Actually, they were uncontrollable and I didn't know what was happening to me—for some reason my presence around plants had the same effect the sun had and things started growing like crazy. Finally, I got the courage and I showed my parents one day—they freaked and were convinced I wasn't their real daughter—that she'd been swapped with an alien, and told me to leave.

"So I left and lived on the streets for about four weeks, before I met Meiko and Gakupo, and they took me in, explaining everything about my talents. I later found out that one of my grandparents had similar abilities—but they died before I developed my powers. That was four years ago." She smiles bitterly at me. "I haven't seen my parents since. I hate them for what they did."

"I'm sorry it had to be that way," I say.

Gumi shrugs and moves onto my right hand. "Life is cruel, I'm afraid."

"Indeed it is." I look at the orange nail polish on my left hand, a different colour from what I'd usually pick—it's bright and angry looking—but I kind of like it. "It reminds me of carrots," I tell Gumi.

She laughs. "I like carrots."

I smile at her.

I hear a snort from the doorway and look up to see Kaito standing there, sniggering at us. "Can I get my nails painted too?" he asks in a stupid mock-girl voice, stalking into the room and wagging his fingers at us.

Gumi screws up her nose. "No way. Not orange—blue and orange? Yuck."

He pouts and sits on the ground across from us. "I just want to hang out with the _gals_," he says. He grabs Gumi's bag of nail polish from her left and digs through it, before pulling out a dark blue. "Can I use this?"

Gumi looks at the colour, before snorting and rolling her eyes. "Go ahead," she says. Then, she turns to me. "He's such a dweeb. Don't you think?"

"Certainly special," I comment, eyeing him as he starts messily slopping the paint onto his hands.

She giggles, before holding out my hand from her face to look at her work. "You know what? Orange really suits you. It should be your signature colour. Like, when you're off stabbing people and stuff, you should wear orange and call yourself _The Dark Orange_."

"I think I would have to get counselling if I killed anyone, Gumi," I say honestly. "But it's a pretty cute colour, I guess."

She grins at me brightly, before turning away to paint her own nails. "Feel free to use it whenever you like. If you're going to do some killing, might as well do it fashionably."

I smile nervously. "Thanks."

* * *

10 o'clock is lights out. It's hard for me to get off to sleep, however, even though I'm exhausted. Gumi and I share the front room downstairs, while Gakupo and Kaito sleep in the room next door. Meiko apparently sleeps upstairs by herself—or, well, maybe she doesn't sleep at all.

I can't stop thinking about my parents. It's plaguing my mind. I stare up at the white ceiling, the gap in the curtains allowing the streetlight to illuminate the room. I feel homesick; in this nonsensical way, and for some reason, I really miss Len. Even though I'm terrified about his reaction to my development—if he finds out—I want to run crying to him and beg him to make everything better with his kind words.

I've never thought such thoughts like that before.

What happens if I wake up to my end, tomorrow? If I wake up to have to go home? Home. It's a word which fills my heart with warmth, but makes my stomach turn with unease. I _want_ to go home—but not as _me_.

And I keep thinking… why _me_, though? I just… It doesn't make sense. I don't seem like the kind of person who would use dark magic—I'm small, I'm flawed, and I'm hopelessly weak. These people in the past who were born with these dangerous powers were manipulative or selfish, or cruel and cold-hearted—I'm not like that, am I?

Or… is it possible I could become consumed by my powers, to inevitably be all those things? Will someday I be capable of hurting all the ones I love in such a brutal and uncaring manner? The thought makes my chest hurt.

Eventually, after tossing and turning and worrying a little bit more, I go upstairs to go to the bathroom. I notice Meiko is on the couch still, unmoving—not breathing because she's dead, obviously. Once I'm done, I carefully go to walk back downstairs, but Meiko abruptly snaps her head around from her current position to look at me.

I feel myself freeze as her eyes fix onto my body, seeing her tense up, but she relaxes once she realises it's only me. Meiko stands for the first time tonight, her build thin, yet curvy—her body looks like it's been sculpted by years of wearing corsets—and I wouldn't be surprised if it was. She wears a short, red dress that hugs her hips, and a long faux fur scarf is draped around her neck and down her body. The outfit makes me feel kind of uncomfortable, but, you know, _prostitutes_.

She flicks on the light and I squint, temporarily blinded. "Unable to sleep?" she asks. Her eyes scrutinise me. "You seem anxious."

I laugh lightly, nervously, pressing my palms down against my thighs. "Yeah," I breathe. "A little."

"You worry too much," she says, "about little things, my dear. Why is that?"

I bite my lip. "Why else?"

She tilts her head, her eyes creasing a little in concentration, as if she's looking past my clothes—my skin—to the inside of my body. "Kaito told me briefly that you seem highly concerned over the thoughts of your parents and your brother," she states. "He thinks that you put yourself down lower than what you actually are."

"I…" I trail off, hesitating. I squeeze my eyes shut. "…But I'm so useless. I'm a burden to everyone. I'm a burden to my parents… and Len… All I want to do is make them proud of me doing something incredible for once. But that won't happen. Everything just keeps getting worse."

Meiko is silent, like she's calculating something in her mind. "You set your standards too high." She strides past me calmly, grabbing a wine glass from the cabinet above her head and filling it up with sake. She takes a sip and swishes it around her mouth, before swallowing. "You set your goals at an impossible level, knowing it's not possible, yet you still are disappointed when you can't achieve it—and that disappointment and desperation to become something that you're not overshadows the things you truly are good at."

I open my mouth to say something, but realise I have nothing to say.

"I believe you should have nothing to worry about," she utters. "Perhaps, yes, you could have the potential threat of being killed by the government but… that's it. Your parents and your brother—Len—would be concerned for you, if anything. If you were crazy—killing people, feeding off your somewhat unlimited power—it would be different."

"I'm afraid of hurting them, though," I whisper. "Who says I won't end up doing that, anyway?"

Meiko stalks back towards the dining table and takes a seat at it, so she's sitting across from where I'm standing. "The people who all end up as criminals are the people who don't worry, Rin." She casts her gaze across the room to the window, propping her elbows up and lacing her fingers together to rest her chin upon. "The worst thing you could do is let fear control you. Fear is what drives people insane."

I let her words sink in, staring down at the floorboard beneath my feet.

"We're scared of things that we're not sure of, though," she tells me. "And this is new to you. It's a threat to you. But you'll learn to accept it. Not everyone who uses dark magic follows a path of murder and bloodlust. The Kalhan simply only want people to think that way, so they can control us and keep authority."

Meiko turns her head to smile at me, her eyes half-lidded. "When I was younger, before a lot of the rules against dark magic were introduced, I had many friends who used it—many who were born into it. It was about as typical as Norhsoean magic." She runs her finger along the rim of her wine glass. "One of the very first kings used dark magic, born into it, and nobody cared. It is only dangerous if you let it be. All different kinds of Norhsoean magic, or Elven magic, vice versa can be dangerous too and kill too, aren't I right?"

Silent, I nod. She's… right.

"So… is it really worth all the worry?" she asks. I chew the inside of my mouth, scanning the floor. "Rin, you have one of the most powerful kinds of magic at your fingertips. You have the potential to be strong and to show others _the truth_. That's why I said you could be useful. You could help others—save the world. You don't have to become what everyone else fears, because that isn't you."

Meiko stands, the chair scraping against the floor loudly. I cringe, but she ignores the harsh sound and strides over to me. She places her hands on either of my shoulders and bends over so she's at eye level. "Rin, there's true evil out there right now," she says. "A force none of us are expecting to come. Yet all the psychics who can see the future are forecasting it—a great war. Devastation, death, the falling of humanity and everything else. The government is trying to cover it up, saying it's nothing—but…" She falters. "It's the first time, in the total 5000 years that I have lived, that globally so many people have predicted simultaneously an event like this. I'm worried, Rin. I'm honestly worried—and I'm not a person to worry."

She leans forward so that's she's only a breath away from my face. "This," she hisses, a face with true solemnity, "is not good."

* * *

I don't know whether talking to Meiko made me feel better or worse.

Before I went back to bed, she stopped me and said, "Kaito told me he saw you in one of his visions a while ago. I say I don't trust Kaito's fortunes, but he's been having the same visions over and over about this stuff, alongside millions of other psychics—and when he brought you home, I knew instantly that…" She paused. "I know it's crazy to say this, but Rin, there's something about you that will—you being here could possibly _save_ us. I have a feeling you're… something extraordinary."

Once she'd finished talking, I was silent for a while—she let me go back to bed eventually without having me answer, probably getting the gist that I was a little overwhelmed. I really thought that the alcohol was starting to get to Meiko, honestly. Something extraordinary? Here to save them? She's a _nutter_, that's for sure.

I couldn't stop thinking about this end-of-the-world prophecy though—no matter how ridiculous it sounded. If it really was true… God, but it sounded so stupid. I wondered if the others were all into it—I _hope_ not.

When I went back to my room and crawled into my futon, Gumi was awake, sitting up and looking out the window. As soon as I had lain down, she'd said, "Meiko is crazy, I know. I don't know whether whole evil taking over the world thing is true, though. Kaito showed me—but I just… I don't want to believe it." She'd looked back at me. "Don't lose sleep over it. It's not going to happen soon, if anything. Just—when they mention it, play along."

I sighed and closed my eyes. "I don't even want to think about that stuff anyway."

"Yeah." Gumi had fallen silent. "Rin… I agree that you're powerful, though."

"Huh?" _These people are _all_ nutters_, I thought.

Gumi moved—drawing the curtains shut and sliding back into her futon. "There's something about you that seems…" she paused and exhaled. "I don't know. You just have a powerful aura or whatever. It's hard to explain."

I had laughed softly into my pillow.

"You don't believe me, do you?"

I hesitated. "…No."

Gumi didn't say anything after that, and a few minutes later, she was snoring softly.

* * *

**what do you think? (insert thirty more question marks because ffnet won't let me)**

**I know Meiko seems a little crazy towards the end ahhh but she's not supposed to be crazy, maybe a little bit forthcoming though. I don't want to make her cliché sparkly vampire desu but I thought it'd be funny to make a vampire fearful of blood. hghgh**

**uhhhh I will go deeper into Meiko/Gakupo's history as the story goes on and explain more about Gumi's powers so yepyep. and Len doesn't really get a role yet, because he's off studying and expanding his brains and becoming Stephen Hawking. Miku also gets a role in the story, but she won't be showing up too soon either.**

**oh and yes, Rin is totallythe messiah she's come to stroke the faces of her people. 8) #magicalgirldesu #runawayfromhome #endoftheworld**

**oh yeah! I have a poll on my profile as well. you should vote it... bc idk. I just want to hear your opinions/shot**

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**also a note that I won't update as frequently and regularly as I'm doing atm from now on for a while because a) school is back: it's demanding and makes me want to cry, and b) we're hosting my teacher aid for Japanese ('_sensei lives at my house desu!_' a bibliography) for a month and I won't be allowed to waste my life on technology. **

**I will _try_ to work around that by writing my chapters by hand/at school during lunchbreaks because I really don't want to abandon this story so? I might get updates up every week or two weeks? (cries)**

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a special thank you to **Guest, EvelynRainshal, PiscesAquamarine12, OOOH, mirrors02, Ilatan** and **Crystal Power** for reviewing the last chapter, I was really happy to hear your feedback and ily guys, we should all get married.

**please leave a review on your thoughts! I really enjoy hearing from you :)**


	4. Chapter 3

**wOW I HAVEN'T ABANDONED THIS STORY OK I'VE BEEN BUSY WITH LIFE AND BEING RIN KAGAM- (AHEM) AND I GOT A LITTLE UNINSPIRED ON THE WAY BUT HERE IS MY UNFORGIVABLE SHORT APOLOGY FOR MY BAD BADNESS. what.**

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**3**

I decide to stay another day, procrastinating having to see my parents again.

Thankfully Meiko doesn't mention anything else about the _I-saw-you-saving-the-world-in-the-future_ thing. She isn't at home for most of the time, anyway; and Kaito is apparently applying for jobs, so he's scarce as well. It's just Gumi, Gakupo and I.

Gakupo, however, shuts himself in his room and doesn't communicate with us at all either (Gumi tells me he's just extremely shy by default).

So, Gumi and I just sit around and talk about unimportant things, paint our toenails, play 100-year-old board games and look at my homework to pass the time. The day drags on—not because I'm bored, but because I'm just in a constant state of anxiety.

Soon, one day turns into two days, and two days turns into three days, and three days becomes… a week. On the seventh morning of my stay, Kaito comes into the kitchen with a flyer in his hand and drops it onto the table in front of me.

A girl with short blonde hair and round eyes smiles up at me. _MISSING_, it reads in bold, black letters. I skim over the brief detail—_went to school, didn't come home, last seen at the train station in blah, blah, blah at 4 o'clock, contact blah, blah, blah if you've spotted her anywhere else… blah, blah, blah._ My name, age and approximate height are written underneath the picture.

I swallow and sigh, squinting up at Kaito questioningly. He only raises his eyebrows back.

"That's a cute picture," Gumi comments, eyeing the paper.

They used my school photo; taken last year. If there's anything I hate the most, it's school photos. I always manage to look like I have no chin; they make me look washed out and slightly on the dead side.

I frown. "Thanks."

"Your parents are obviously worried if they filed a missing person's report," Kaito mentions matter-of-factly. There's a tinge of jealousy in his words.

I sweep my fingers through the ends of my hair anxiously. "I never said that they _wouldn't_…" I trail off, licking my lips nervously. "I… need to speak to them. I _should_ speak to them. Tell them I'm okay." I just can't bring myself to go home.

Gumi and Kaito stare at me, before Gumi pipes up, saying, "We have a phone. We don't really use it and I'm not sure whether it works, but—" She stops mid-sentence to point at the phone sitting on the kitchen bench next to the microwave. "It's over there."

"Thanks—I think I'll just use my mobile, though," I say quickly, uncertainly. I stand, wiping my sweaty palms on my skirt—my school skirt that I washed it yesterday. Taking a breath, I walk downstairs to find my phone, and after fishing it out of my bag, head back upstairs to start tapping the landline number into the keypad. I hold the phone up to my ear and hear the rings.

One, two, three—

Mum picks up on the fifth tone. "Hello?" she asks, her voice a relief to my ears.

However, my throat closes up instantly. I open my mouth and nothing comes out. I try to speak, but there is just no noise—

"Hello?" she repeats. "Who's this?"

"I—" I stutter. "I—I—" I sound like a broken record.

After a moment of silence, she whispers, "…Rin?" Her voice softens.

I feel something inside me crack. "Mummy," I murmur. It's a word I don't really use; something more familiar to my childhood. I feel like I'm going to cry, but I don't. "Mum, I'm sorry, I can't—"

Dad's voice interrupts me. "Rin? It's Rin?" he's asking in the background, frantic, before his voice takes over the phone. "Rin, where are you? Where are you right now? Who has you? How are you calling us?"

Mum takes back the phone. "Honey, are you alright? Where are you? Speak to us. Please." There's so much desperation in her voice—it's almost suffocating.

I hold the phone away, squeezing my eyes shut. Kaito and Gumi have their backs turned; apparently watching the TV—but I know they aren't. I put the phone back up to my ear. "I'm sorry," I mumble. "I-I'm sorry, it's just—I can't come home. I can't. There's nothing wrong. No one has kidnapped me or anything. I'm safe—perfectly fine. I just can't come home."

"Why? Why can't you come home?" Mum asks gently. "Rin, please tell us what's going on."

I take in a breath. "I'm—I'm… I can't. It's too dangerous—_I'm _dangerous. Please, please—don't worry about me. I'm fine. I just can't come home. I have a place to stay and people are looking after me. I—I don't want to hurt you. I just—I'm so, so sorry. I'm sorry. Please don't look for me. I'll come home—I promise—just not… now."

"Rin," this time, it's Kaito's voice. He's staring at me from across the room, his eyes clouded with the cyan colour. His eyebrows are furrowed—something must be wrong.

"Rin—you're not making sense—please—"

Kaito begins waving his hand frantically, a panicked look crossing his face. I get the gist that I should hang up—whatever he predicted just then must be important.

"I'm sorry," I blurt out, cutting Dad mid-sentence. "I'm sorry—I'm sorry. I love you. Please understand. I love you guys. I promise I'll come home soon. Tell Len I love him." They go to say something else, but I force myself to hang up, slamming my phone shut. I'm shaking.

"They found you," Kaito says immediately. Gumi looks vacant.

The police? "Who?"

He grimaces. "No. Your parents don't call the police. They listened to you, luckily. If they're going to I wouldn't have let you call them," he tells me, obviously reading my mind. "Someone's going to trace your incantations from the park tomorrow afternoon—one of the lower ranked government members who live in the human world. The government is investigating your case since you're born to two Norhsoean's. By accident he'll stumble across the remnants of your incantations while looking for a trace, assume it's a kidnapping and alert the Kalhan. They'll have a squad here by tomorrow night."

"Will they tell my parents?" I inquire anxiously. "What will my parents think?"

He's silent for a moment. "They won't alert them unless they find you," he states.

I release a breath I didn't realise I'd been holding. But that doesn't mean I'm relieved. "What do we do?"

"I'll call Meiko, assuming she won't answer I'll leave a message. She'll be home tonight, though. It's not until tomorrow night they'll be here—we'll have enough time, I think," Kaito debriefs. "Gumi, are you alright?"

I realise Gumi's been silent for the last couple of minutes. She stares ahead, completely void of emotion. However, Kaito's voice pulls her from her trance.

"Y—yes," she stammers, turning pink. "Sorry, I just completely spaced out."

Kaito and I exchange worried glances, but don't press onto the topic. "I'll go call Meiko," he tells us, before taking the phone and ducking downstairs. By the sounds of it, Meiko answers the phone.

I stare down at my own phone in my hand. The battery is extremely low.

"That brought back a lot of memories," Gumi mentions quietly, catching me off-guard.

I turn to look at her, frowning in curiosity. "What did? What memories?"

She scratches her neck timidly, looking at the ground. "When I was first taken in by Meiko and Gakupo, I was still in denial," she explains. "You know… I didn't want to believe they kicked me out of home—my parents. I tried calling them several times, and—you know. It was… painful. Eventually they threatened to call the police, so I stopped—but…" She glances up, a distant look in her eyes.

Awkwardly, I put a hand on her shoulder to show some comfort; I'm not the sympathetic kind, though. "I know that it hurts to be thrown out by the people who you loved and thought loved you back," I say gently. "But at least you have these guys, right? Even though you and Kaito and Meiko and whatever clash sometimes… they love you."

Gumi smiles weakly. "Yeah. I'm pretty lucky. I could've had it worse—I could still be eating out of trash cans, or even dead, you know?"

I smile back at her; the most compassionate smile I could muster. "I know."

She exhales shakily, before the strange, weaker side of Gumi disperses and her energetic façade returns. "If the government's going to be coming, I guess we better pack up," she says, stepping away from my hand in the direction for the stairs.

"Pack up?"

"Well, the only way we can avoid them is if we roll out," she states. "So we should pack what we need so we're not rushing later."

"Oh. Right." I follow after her downstairs, just as Kaito is about to walk up.

He stops and waits at the bottom of the staircase. "Meiko will be coming home early. She says we have to move fast, if we don't want them close on our trail. Are you two going to pack?" he asks.

"Yeah," Gumi answers.

Kaito follows after us into the bedroom. "She says that we should aim for tonight. It at least gives us a day head-start."

"Where will we be going, though?" I inquire, picking up my scattered books and putting it back into my schoolbag.

"Meiko says the best way is to go to the other world," he affirms.

My eyebrows rise in surprise. "But wouldn't that just make it easier for them to come after me? After all, the government is _based_ there." And Len is there, too.

"But the magic world is big, isn't it?" Gumi questions.

"Yeah," Kaito agrees. "And Meiko has a friend who could help you with disguising your incantations, Rin—but she only lives in Altar, so this is a great opportunity. There are more resources there; too… it could help with developing your skills." Altar is the name given to the other world—like Earth is named… _Earth_.

I run my tongue against my teeth. "It's just… Altar is _unknown_ to us. We don't know what we could be getting into—we could get hunted and killed by some species over there, for all I know." I turn to assist Gumi with packing her bag. "And how the hell are we even going to get there? The only viable gateways are in Siberia, Iceland and the US. And two of those which are incredibly rural."

Kaito frowns. "Why are you so against it?"

"I—" I go to argue, but pause. "I'm not _against_ it. But… none of us have ever been there. It's _different_. They have crazy things. Killing things. We could get lost, or eaten—or _something_."

He sighs. "It's going to be fine, Rin," he tells me—apparently peeved. I can't help it that I'm concerned.

And I know it's a one-in-a-billion chance, but if I run into Len over there—or someone who happens to know me… What happens if they see my incantations? If they tell my parents? If anything, going there is just making me closer to the government, too—and even though Kaito's trying to reassure me that they won't catch us—_anything _can happen.

Kaito presses his lips together, glancing between Gumi and I. "I'm going to go talk to Gakupo," he says, before leaving.

Gumi and I exchange glances, but say nothing else.

* * *

After we finish packing our things, we set them beside the staircase, sit on the bottom step and play with a pack of cards. I haven't seen Kaito all afternoon—heaven knows what he's doing. Probably brooding. Gakupo hasn't made a peep, either.

Eventually, the sound of a car ignition interrupts our game, and Gumi and I turn our heads towards the door. A flustered Meiko stumbles inside, dumping a few bags on the floor at our feet, before exhaling loudly.

Kaito appears from his room, with Gakupo following closely behind. "This better be a correct prediction," Meiko says gruffly, bending over to sift through her bags. "Otherwise I'll literally _kill _you."

"I'm 98% sure it's correct," Kaito responds nervously.

Meiko narrows her eyes in his direction, before pulling out a backpack from one of the bags and tossing it to me. "You're better off with one of these. That schoolbag's going to get you nowhere." I bite my lip nervously, casting a look at my school bag on the floor. She _is_ right, but…

"We leave at six on the dot. It'll take an hour and a half for us to get to the gateway," she states. "And probably wear decent shoes, too. We'll be doing a bit of trekking through nature."

Gumi groans. "_Please_ don't tell me there'll be snakes."

The brunette ignores her remark and turns to Gakupo. "Have you got it ready?" she inquires sharply.

Gakupo blinks in confusion, before realisation sets over his face. "Oh. Right. Yes," he answers hastily, ducking back into his bedroom. I look at Gumi to see if she understands what they're talking about, but she gives me a blank look and shrugs.

I begin transferring my belongings from my schoolbag to the backpack. "What will I do with my bag?" I question Meiko.

"I'll deal with it," she answers, just as Gakupo returns, hobbling over to her. He holds out a white glove and she examines it carefully. "Hmm. Good enough—Rin?" She looks back at me.

"Yeah?"

Meiko bends forward to grasp my right arm and stretches it out towards Gakupo. He scrunches up the glove and slips it onto my hand, before pulling it up just over my elbow. I frown at it.

"What's this for?" I take my arm from Meiko's grasp and scan the glove. It looks… normal.

Gakupo clears his throat uncomfortably. "I made small spell which can disguise your incantation trails for the time being, and placed them on this glove. As long as you're wearing it, no one of regular magic skills can detect your trails, and it diminishes detection even for those who can. It's something you can wear temporarily just to keep danger away. It's as much as I can do. You'll get better help in Altar, though."

"Oh," I say. "Okay. Thank you?"

He grins somewhat uncertainly, before shuffling away to stand behind Kaito. "That's cool," Gumi comments. "I didn't know Gakupo could do that."

"Me neither," I answer, stuffing the last of my things into the backpack and zipping it shut. "What's the time?" I ask Meiko.

She glances at her watch. "Ten to six. Is everyone else packed?"

Gumi and Kaito make sounds of agreement and show their bags. I notice neither Gakupo or Meiko have bags with them. "Aren't you guys coming too?"

Meiko shakes her head. "No. It'll be too suspicious for us to all disappear. We'll stay behind and try to distract them. But we've agreed to all meet in a couple of weeks in the capital city of Hysteral at Luka's if everything goes according to plan. Then we'll work from there."

"Oh." Luka must be Meiko's… 'friend'.

"All right. On ya horses. Let's go," she instructs. Gumi and I stand, sling our bags over our shoulders and shuffle after Meiko outside. The cold air hits me abruptly and I shiver, my breath visible in the air. The sun had long set. "How's it looking, Kaito?" Meiko calls over her shoulder.

Kaito's reply comes slightly belated. "It looks fine. Nothing has changed."

"Good."

Gumi and I exchange nervous glances. My stomach is full of butterflies.

* * *

It's an hour long train trip to the outer area of Yokohama, and we walk from the train station for half an hour until we reach this secluded forest-like area. Meiko seems intent and sure of her directions, but I'm not. The forest looks exactly the same no matter where we walk, and it's dark and cold, and I feel like I can't breathe.

Meiko stops in her tracks, and so do we. She sniffs the air. "Ah. Yes. We're quite close. This way." She turns left and disappears into shrub. Grumbling, I struggle to follow after, my toes and legs numb-feeling.

We walk into a clearing illuminated by the moon. The atmosphere feels wired with energy. In the middle of the clearing are worn stones, a little over a foot taller than me, positioned in a circle-like formation. Maybe I'm a little delusional from the cold, but this setting feels somewhat surreal.

Meiko snoops around the area. "Mm. This place was once a transportation gate—a smaller version. They were all abandoned though in the 20th century because of WWII. People were terrified of it coming to Altar, so they did anything to limit contact with humans."

"Does it still work?" I query, frowning.

"I hope. They _can_ get a little dodgy after a while of not being used and maintained, and other whatnot," she responds casually. "Let's pray you all arrive in one peace." She grins.

I gulp.

"It'll be okay," Kaito reassures, stepping up to my side. I close my eyes and frown in disagreement.

Meiko turns to discuss something with Gakupo, who is scanning the clearing, as if he's looking for something.

"What're they doing _now?_" Gumi mumbles, folding her arms tightly over her chest, shivering. "I just want them to hurry up because I'm freezing. I think my toes are getting frostbite."

Gakupo wanders off to the other side of the glade, looking at a tree stump nearby. After running his fingers over the surface and feeling the air around it, he nods at Meiko and calls, "Yep. This is it."

"It makes me feel uneasy watching these two take care of this when they have no idea what they're doing. Knowing them, they'd probably end up sending us to Saturn or something," Gumi mutters. I snort, agreeing with the statement, and Kaito just shakes his head.

"Alright, kiddos," Meiko says, ushering us into the middle of the stone circle. "Kaito, you know I gave you a map and some money for Altar. Don't lose them, for the love of God. If Rin ends up dying, you _know_ I'll kill you, right?" Kaito nods stiffly.

Gumi huffs at Meiko's words. "What about me? What if _I_ die?"

"You're not important," Meiko responds bluntly. I just about roll my eyes so hard they do a 360 in their sockets. She's _still_ on about that.

"And just a note, there's a 70% chance you could all die in this process. I'm putting my bids on Kaito's forecasts that you will be the other 30%." She continues to smile pleasantly. My stomach churns and I feel myself pale.

I don't actually realise I'm digging my nails into my palm until I feel a sharp pain from my left hand. I look down, seeing red lines in my palm—the slightest smudge of blood. The cuts feel numb shortly after from the cold, and I stuff my hand into my jacket pocket.

"Well, then," Meiko concludes, clasping her hands. "Good luck, you three." Her eyes pause on mine and hold my gaze for a few moments, before she turns to walk away.

Kaito reaches out to hold my shoulder, almost as if he knew I felt dangerously close to passing out a few seconds ago. I smile at him uneasily, and he just gives me a _look_.

Gumi grasps onto my arm tightly while Gakupo begins murmuring some spell under his breath. A pattern, illuminated by a bright green light, weaves its way through the dead wood of the tree stump, before appearing on the ground and rushing towards the large boulders surrounding us. Soon, they're covered by the shapes too, and the air starts to buzz as it's filled with an invisible source of electricity.

"You're our good luck charm, I guess," Gumi tries to say light-heartedly through her gritted teeth. I force an uncomfortable laugh, squinting as the patterns start to grow brighter and brighter.

They grow so bright, I almost can't see Meiko or Gakupo anymore, when Kaito shouts, panicked, "Wait—"

Then there is absolutely nothing. No noise. No feeling. Just nothingness. It's like that for approximately five seconds.

—Until a sharp pain tears its way through my head.

I scream, to hear nothing, and I can't feel anything; it's like I no longer have a body. It is the most terrifying feeling.

_That's it_, I think. _We're dead_.

* * *

**and then they die.**

**JK. I'm not _that_ mean. Yes, I am still alive. I'm soz guys ily please don't het mi**

**It's funny I found sudden inspiration to finish this chapter because on Friday, I received my marks back for my English assessment (the story I was talking about in the last chapter - did I? Or am I just imagining it? Haha, I am too lazy to check) and they were pretty awful marks for me, considering I tried so FECKING HARD on this shitty assessment and I'm usually an A/B student.  
****Now all of my English marks are going to go down :') It makes me want to stab someone. in the face. (I did cry hideously to my music teacher afterwards; I was so devastated, kmn.)  
****All the Year 11 English teachers are pieces of poopsuck and can't handle the originality yo. Let's agree to never be creative again. (Sigh. I even get better marks in Japanese rather than English, even though Japanese is my second language. Australian education logic/10)**

**this is rly short but it's how I wanted it to end. good news is that I have like four weeks (two weeks technically not included because I get off school to study for exams/heehee) left of school for this term so yeeeeeey. More updates. Hopefully.**

**I HOPE THIS OFFERING IS GOOD ENOUGH! pls understand my terribleness.**

**THANK YE FOR LOVELY REVIEWS, AND ALSO THE AGGRESSIVE ONES TOO. I LOVE YOU. PLEASE REVIEW THIS CHAPTER TOO! MUCH DANKE.**


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